Apocalypse-schmockalypse

I guarantee you I'll still be here in January of 2013.
See, if I really thought that the world was going to end at a predetermined date like December of 2012, I wouldn't be here right now. I would have long ago taken Jeanne and Daisy with me to live it up on a beach in Hawaii. Why not wait out the apocalypse in place that's nice, right?
But since I have lived long enough to see several prophecies of global doom not come to pass (like Y2K), I really doubt that this one is true, either.
And if I'm wrong, then nobody will be around to point it out, anyway. If there are no people left to read a blog, then does it really even exist? No! These words will have lost all meaning.

Hooray! I love everybody!

Hi folks!

Some really nasty things have been said on WoofOink over the last couple of months or so, and I just wanted the whole wide world to know that I've decided to turn over a new leaf and - bygummit- be a happy camper from now on! :D

The following things will no longer be done on WoofOink:
- talking about waving my shriveled testicles in peoples' faces.
- using a blog to decry the internet.
- declaring myself pope.
- whining about the economy and how I don't have a job (especially since I now have one.)
- generally being a Negative-Nelly in sector 2.

Life is too short for pissy blogposts! Especially since the world offers so many wonderful things like baby ducks, sunsets, and instant oatmeal!



So cute...


Well, before I start to think about all of the BULLSHIT THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF, I'll just sign off for now and wish you all a happy Tuesday night, and a wonderful Wednesday to come!

Life is good!

1982: A Star is Born!

The year is 1982 AD: Michael Jackson's Thriller is released. Compact disks are first introduced to an eager public in Germany. The 1982 World's Fair is held in Knoxville Tennessee (which was revisited in the Simpsons episode "Bart on the Road" back in 1996 when the show was still funny.). And most importantly, Jeanne Cassanova is born!
Jeanne shares a birthday with the following celebrities: Cher, Busta Rhymes, Joe Cocker, and the late Jimmy Stewart. Also, she is the day after: Grace Jones, Andre The Giant, Joey Ramone, Pete Townshend, Malcolm X, and Ho Chi Minh and the day before: Mr T., Notorious B.I.G., Raymond Burr, and Fats Waller.
But I want to wish Jeanne an even happier birthday than they will have, for she is the greatest superstar of all where I am concerned! It has been my pleasure to have known Jeanne for more than six years now, and I am very thankful for all 27 years of her life because they made her into the person who I know and love today!
Happy birthday, Jeanne!

YAM

Happy mayday, whatever the fuck that is.
Yes, I am the cranky old fart who swings his shriveled nutsack in your face every month bitching about how the world is not to his liking! You can expect nothing else but this out of WoofOink for the duration of its existence.
In fact, that is my new mission statement. Fuck this "Web 2.0" networking bullshit! I am going to be as inept and as socially awkward in this pitiful excuse for a pseudo-society as I possibly can be. Fuck Twitter, fuck Facebook, and fuck stupid Myspace all to Hell!
GYARRGH!!!

SELLCRAPY MEET

Being unemployed means that I am on craigslist everyday looking for a job. The up-side to this is that I occasionally happen upon little gems like the following (the misspellings and poor grammar are not mine, I copied and pasted these as they are.):


"PLESE DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME DRIVING OUT TO SLIDELL!!!!THIS IS NOT A DELIVERY ROUTE!! THIS IS A GUY IN A CUT OFF SHIRT AN HIS GIRL FRIEND FROM OUT OF TOWN TRYING TO GET YOU TO DRIVE AROUND NEIGHBORHOODS TO CATCH
PEOPLE OUTSIDE THEIR HOMES AND SELLCRAPY MEET OF A PICKUP TRUCK. COULD BE A SCAMM TO GET YOUR SS # OFF APPLACATION!!BEWARE

THIS IS THE SAME GUY UNDER GENERAL LABOR. TRANSPORTATION .UNDER 'DELIVERIE' 'SALES ROUTE' SILDELL. HIM AN HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE FROM OUT OF TOWN TRYING TO SCAM PEOPLE. PEOPLE WHO ARE REALLY LOOKING FOR JOBSAND DRIVING ALL THE WAY OUT TO SLIDELL SPENDING GAS MONEY AND THEIR TIME TO WALK IN AN SEE A GUY IN A CUT OFF TSHIRT AN HIS FAT OLE LADY FOR NOTHING!!!!COULD BE A SCAMM TO GET PEOPLE S.S.# OFF THE APPLACATION!!!I'VE ALREADY CALL THE S.S. DEPT ON THEM. THE POLICE ARE NEXT. SOME BODYS GOING TO RIP A NEW ASSHOLE AN HIS FATASS OLE LADY FOR DOING THIS SHIT TO GOOD PEOPLE!!

HE OWE'S ME AND ALOT OF PEOPLE GAS MONEY..I WILL GET IT "


"It may not be a scam, but it certainly is a joke. The 'girlfriend' doesn't even like being here. PLEASE, If you've even considered working for these clowns, re-consider. The U.S.D.A. & B.B.B. are being notified of the situation. I strongly recommend that if anyone comes to you in a truck with meat in New Orleans/Slidell temperatures, tell them to send the hillbillies home. and take their meat with them. If it were a great product they'd be selling to stores in New Orleans East.

Compensation: Head aches and risk"

Fuck it.

Self-promotion gets me nowhere. Fuck this shit. Who cares?

lirpA

So March went by without a post.
It was a good month.
I don't really have anything to say, I just wanted to touch base with all of you.

We're okay.

Cheers!