Apocalypse-schmockalypse

I guarantee you I'll still be here in January of 2013.
See, if I really thought that the world was going to end at a predetermined date like December of 2012, I wouldn't be here right now. I would have long ago taken Jeanne and Daisy with me to live it up on a beach in Hawaii. Why not wait out the apocalypse in place that's nice, right?
But since I have lived long enough to see several prophecies of global doom not come to pass (like Y2K), I really doubt that this one is true, either.
And if I'm wrong, then nobody will be around to point it out, anyway. If there are no people left to read a blog, then does it really even exist? No! These words will have lost all meaning.

Hooray! I love everybody!

Hi folks!

Some really nasty things have been said on WoofOink over the last couple of months or so, and I just wanted the whole wide world to know that I've decided to turn over a new leaf and - bygummit- be a happy camper from now on! :D

The following things will no longer be done on WoofOink:
- talking about waving my shriveled testicles in peoples' faces.
- using a blog to decry the internet.
- declaring myself pope.
- whining about the economy and how I don't have a job (especially since I now have one.)
- generally being a Negative-Nelly in sector 2.

Life is too short for pissy blogposts! Especially since the world offers so many wonderful things like baby ducks, sunsets, and instant oatmeal!



So cute...


Well, before I start to think about all of the BULLSHIT THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF, I'll just sign off for now and wish you all a happy Tuesday night, and a wonderful Wednesday to come!

Life is good!

1982: A Star is Born!

The year is 1982 AD: Michael Jackson's Thriller is released. Compact disks are first introduced to an eager public in Germany. The 1982 World's Fair is held in Knoxville Tennessee (which was revisited in the Simpsons episode "Bart on the Road" back in 1996 when the show was still funny.). And most importantly, Jeanne Cassanova is born!
Jeanne shares a birthday with the following celebrities: Cher, Busta Rhymes, Joe Cocker, and the late Jimmy Stewart. Also, she is the day after: Grace Jones, Andre The Giant, Joey Ramone, Pete Townshend, Malcolm X, and Ho Chi Minh and the day before: Mr T., Notorious B.I.G., Raymond Burr, and Fats Waller.
But I want to wish Jeanne an even happier birthday than they will have, for she is the greatest superstar of all where I am concerned! It has been my pleasure to have known Jeanne for more than six years now, and I am very thankful for all 27 years of her life because they made her into the person who I know and love today!
Happy birthday, Jeanne!

YAM

Happy mayday, whatever the fuck that is.
Yes, I am the cranky old fart who swings his shriveled nutsack in your face every month bitching about how the world is not to his liking! You can expect nothing else but this out of WoofOink for the duration of its existence.
In fact, that is my new mission statement. Fuck this "Web 2.0" networking bullshit! I am going to be as inept and as socially awkward in this pitiful excuse for a pseudo-society as I possibly can be. Fuck Twitter, fuck Facebook, and fuck stupid Myspace all to Hell!
GYARRGH!!!